My new life

So, today I am getting ready for another 2 week trip away with work. I went to bed last night and felt rotten. I ended up falling asleep infront of an open window in my lounge, waking up at 4am when I dragged my sorry arse back to bed.

Today I still feel awful.

The only thing is, I don't think I'm actually ill. I think it's nerves. I go into a rather large job on my own tomorrow with no supervision (what were they thinking) except a director who is looking to take me down. I honestly think that's what is making me feel like this.

At least I hope so. Cannot afford to get ill now!

I need to learn how to calm down. How to not let things get to me. Who cares if my P45 comes in the post! Arghhhhhhhhh!

I feel like crying today which is very unlike me. Feel like doing a runner and starting another new life!

I'm sure that in two weeks time once I've got this first one done I'll be ok. That is, of course, if I still have a job.

Let's wait and see!

So, woke up this morning still feeling really bad about the mean text I sent my special mate. At 9am, I decided enough was enough and sent a rather grovelling text over.

All day....nothing.

He must be rather pissed not to have replied.

Damn.

Was kind of hoping to have a visitor tomorrow night whilst I'm working away.

Big damn.

Ok, so work was good but rather long. Still meant to be working now but taking a break. What a shocking excuse! Off to see the ex-husband tomorrow. Something to look forward to! Can't complain mind as he is helping me out with something for work. Hope he doesn't gloat.

Feel so tired and so many more phone calls to make. I hope no-one in my team has a life as I will be interuppting it tonight. I must be hated!!!

Oh well....back to prison i guess!

So, yet again been a naughty blogger and not blogged for a while. This will all be explained!

Been working away for the last couple of weeks. Been such a hectic time but quite good fun working with people I adore for once.

Came home and decided to take a couple of days for some R & R, but actually ended up working for most of it!! Never been one to switch off!

Was meant to spend my first night back with my 'special mate'. Left work really late to coincide with the time we were meeting, then he cancelled an hour before when I was already on the road. Was absolutely furious. I ended up sending a rather nasty text message (I know...coward). I haven't heard from him since and as I can't speak to him at weekends, its been playing on my mind. Think an apology will be needed first thing tomorrow. Keep thinking I'm supposed to give him support and happiness, but instead I acted like everything else in his life....designed to give him shit! Oh well, hopefully he'll be nice about it.

So, since the big move, I still haven't sorted out my internet connection on my new laptop. I've been using friends and families computers every day to check my email. Doesn't make for very private blogging. I decided today to get it sorted. Called up my internet provider for my other computers, changed my package and started to install. It didn't work. I called the provider who then told me that I would need to uninstall what I had put on and start again. It still didn't work. And now I have nothing at all. I have spent 72 minutes on the phone to them trying to fix it. It still doesn't work. Yet again, fairly furious.

So, have decided to give up for today and try again tomorrow, that is after counting to a million (twice..)

Still feeling so tired from such a hard slog at work, and from Friday I'm away again to do it all over. I hope I have internet by then to blog or my patience will totally go from keeping it all inside....starting to feel the need to count to a billion!