http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/en-EUhttp://backend.userland.com/rss092http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/d3/a988de3947a81f68359ff902fec866_160x200.jpg <p>So, there I was, interviewing for another company. I had a decent job but just applied to see how it would go. A week later, I find out I didn't get the job. A week after that, I find out that my existing job is over. My contract is up. I'm out. Shit.</p> <p>Now, I have no job, no money and am up the creek, so to speak! I must admit, I haven't felt this rubbish in a long time. I've never had a day in my life where I've woken up and had no reason to even get out of bed. </p> <p>I spend all day searching the web, talking to agencies and hoping that someone, anyone, will call just to break up my day for 5 minutes....all spent in my dressing gown. I'm sure I'm going to turn into a hermit pretty soon. I'll be the woman who just never leaves her house and peers out the window at her neighbours to get some small level of excitement in her life.</p> <p>My deadline is 3 months. I have enough cash to keep me going till then and it be at that point, if I have no work, I will be admitted to the Priory. </p> <p>One last point to make....if there are any people reading this who work in recruitment agencies...call your candidates back!!! We apply for work, get a first call from YOU guys about a job YOU get us all excited about, then we wait, and wait, and wait to hear from you, we end up calling you, you tell us we were rejected, we cry A FUCKING WEEK LATER. </p> <p>Phewwww, nice to get that off my chest. So, cross fingers for me, infact cross everything for me as I sit here, checking my email for the thousandth time today hoping an agency has returned my emails. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2008/04/16/losing-my-job-4053195/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2008/04/16/losing-my-job-4053195/Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:48:36 +0200 <p>So, still not heard about the job application yet. I'm hoping to get some news tomorrow. Getting a bit nervous about it now. I don't feel anywhere near as confident as my last application (I got the job!!)...we'll see.</p> <p>Had a fairly pointless work day, drove for 3 hours for a 2 hour meeting to get information that could have been emailed to me. Wonderful. Planning a very lazy admin day tomorrow. I always do my best work in my pajamas!</p> <p>I'm sitting at home, waiting for the other half but doesn't look like he'll be back much before 8pm. Damn it. </p> <p>I'm feeling like I'm doing nothing of any worth right now. Need to do something really spectacular and realise it. Tomorrow could be that day. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2008/03/13/no-news-yet-3872780/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2008/03/13/no-news-yet-3872780/Thu, 13 Mar 2008 19:07:33 +0100 <p>I went for a job interview today. I've not been actively looking but a great role came up and I thought I'd go for it. I ended up being late....wind apparently means people can't drive...and got grilled. Thank god that's over with. The man was like a closed book and I've walked out with no idea how I've done. Well, I guess I'll find out later this week. </p> <p>I'm sitting in one of my businesses, getting increasingly pissed off watching the staff. I'm about to have a meeting but all I can think of is I want to go home!! I think I'll be out about 9pm and get back about 11pm. Rubbish!!! It's even worse when your other half works a 9-5 job and you know he's sitting at home watching tv eating dinner and you're on the M25. Hence the need for a better job!</p> <p>I've been playing this new and slightly odd game with a friend where you pick a random song from your i-pod and add 'in my pants' to the end of the name. These emails have been flying back and forth all day and are the only thing keeping me from cutting myself right now!</p> <p>Right, off to get even more pissed off with the staff!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2008/03/12/the-interview-3865163/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2008/03/12/the-interview-3865163/Wed, 12 Mar 2008 17:14:51 +0100 <p>Since I last blogged! Infact, it's been well over a year. I have no idea what reminded me of the blog I started straight after leaving my husband but something did. </p> <p>I can't believe I'm coming close to my required 2 year seperation to get my divorce. I remember at the beginning thinking the day would never come! My life has changed so so much in that time...</p> <p>I finally stopped the affair I was having just after Christmas 2006. It wasn't going anywhere and as heartbreaking as it was, it just had to end. I spent a few months doing the usual crying and eating chocolate and ended up meeting someone else. My new relationship moved pretty fast and I moved in with him nearing the end of 2007. This has proved to be an amazing thing and he makes me so damn happy. He has a son which has taken some adjusting to but has ended up being fab.</p> <p>Workwise, I left that company and moved onto a new one doing the same job. This is still the area in my life giving me shit! Working away from home 5 days a week is really taking it's toll on me and oddly enough, I have an interview with another company next week! </p> <p>Like I said, I have no idea what possessed me to come back to this site today but as we know, everything happens for a reason. Look out for the new life to continue!!!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2008/03/09/it-s-been-a-while-3839716/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2008/03/09/it-s-been-a-while-3839716/Sun, 09 Mar 2008 00:16:33 +0100 <p>So, that's done for another year! Thank god! New Years was fun. Spent it with a group of people that I'd spent Christmas with before I moved away. We went out for dinner then to a friends house to play games! We ended up missing midnight as we were all shouting at eachother due to some unbelievable cheating. I lost all the games!</p> <p>Due to not getting home till 4am, new years day was spent in a dark, quiet room. </p> <p>So, back to work today. Got a recruitment event on tonight with no applicants to instead am off to have a meeting to figure out the next step. Joy of joys.</p> <p>Doesn't feel like I've taken any time off at all. Must book a holiday I think! </p> <p>Got my hospital appointment for Thursday to see whether my ear is better. I hope they can fix it. Deafness is really starting to piss me off! We'll see.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2007/01/02/christmas_is_over~1504981/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2007/01/02/christmas_is_over~1504981/Tue, 02 Jan 2007 14:20:12 +0100 <p>So, I've spent the last couple of days in the business I opened in December. And I have the biggest crush ever on the manager on the job. He wants me go and work in his business permenately but I have a funny feeling we wouldn't get much work done!</p> <p>I'm a tad bit old for crushes but man alive do I love the feeling I get when I'm with him. Spent all day on the computer with him drinking tea and smoking...so rare to find a good smoker!</p> <p>But...as luck would have it...fairly frowned upon to dip the ink in the company well so that's the end of that one! </p> <p>But each time I see him...I know I'm gonna get that fabulous feeling.</p> <p>I feel my cheeks flushing even now. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/29/the_crush~1492529/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/29/the_crush~1492529/Fri, 29 Dec 2006 23:25:33 +0100 <p>So, today I went to spend the day with my uncle and aunt...my fathers brother. Now, I don't actually have anything to do with my father but his brother pretty much bought me up as one of his own so his wife is kind of like my 2nd ma and his sons are like brothers.</p> <p>It's the most craziest house in the world. People are always coming over for a cuppa or just dropping in cos there's a roast in the oven. There's no airs and graces, just old school Londoners having a good time. </p> <p>I always love the atmosphere there and when I manage to get a place of my own, they inspire me to fill it with people, laughter, fun, warmth and love. Everyone's welcome whether it be for a gossip, a story or a shoulder to cry on.</p> <p>Not just a house.....a home. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/28/my_family~1485596/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/28/my_family~1485596/Thu, 28 Dec 2006 00:18:34 +0100 <p>So, had my first christmas with my family in a long long time. Normally I work throughout it, even on christmas day (what a shit life I hear you say!). This year, I managed to take it off. It consisted of-</p> <p>Christmas Eve Eve- travelled to my sisters. Had to go and pick up the christmas dinner from M&S. Now, it's not what I remembered it being. Everything came ready prepared in foil packets which you just threw in the oven. Now, my sisters husband had been going on and on about how he always made the dinner every year...very impressive I thought till I saw its microwavable times. Had a little wonder around the shops trying to find a good present for my special mate while my family quizzed me constantly about him. How do you explain the 'buddy' to your mother and the reason why you won't bring him round for tea and biscuits or the reason why a shirt is not the right kind of gift??</p> <p>Christmas Eve- went to the cinema with the kid to watch happy feet- now I've never been particularly into kids films but was forced to go along. Now, I've seen a few kid movies like monster inc and shrek but what the hell is happy feet about?? A penguin with dodgy legs and an inability to reproduce set to the theme song of boogie wonderland????? Sheer hell. My sisters husband decided to skip dodgy feet and go to the pub instead. I tried to join him but was not allowed. After cinema, had a rather drunken call to say come down of which we did. As soon we pulled up, sis and hubby had a huge domestic in the carpark. Now this was how I remember christmas! Did the whole leaving out the mince pie with the kid who decided Santa also wanted some coke and chewing gum...don't ask...no idea either. Put kid to bed and ran around house, hunting down hidden gifts. </p> <p>Christmas Day- didn't change out of my pajamas all day long. Opened enough presents to stock a toys r us for the next year with the kid and happily sat on my arse watching the sisters husband cook dinner. Ate far too much. Watched trash on tv. Played singstar and buzz on playstation. Napped. Watched film. Slept. Perfect. </p> <p>Boxing Day- starting to get really pissed off with the family now. Left the sisters and took my mum to london to see the sound of music. Decided to do some retail shopping and bought sod all in the sales...all full price. Still, needed a pick me up. Finally got home at 11pm. Slept. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/27/first_family_christmas~1482397/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/27/first_family_christmas~1482397/Wed, 27 Dec 2006 01:08:18 +0100 <p>So, today had my last work meeting. Had to go through the next job with the guy who has been chosen to run the job long term. Now, I don't choose the people who do this. I just go into each job for a couple of weeks, get them up and running and toddle off to get the next one going. On each job, I meet the guy or gal who will be running our businesses for the future. Today I met the January guy. Serious reservations. Now, normally I wouldn't really base my thoughts on first impressions but this guy really worries me. Great! Just what I need for the first job of 2007!! I can see this one dragging. I actually have quite an easy month in January. Only one job to do. Makes up for the rest of the year where I'll be happy to get a day off at all! I foresee 2007 being a career focused year. Works for me mind, stops me thinking about everything else. </p> <p>After the meeting, I thought it really is time to get my christmas shopping done. Everyone who knows me gets how organised I am and for the first time in my life, I didn't get my gifts in November. I rushed about Next, Waterstones and Boots like my life was about to end. Still fairly disappointed in myself for my incredibly awful presents but thats it. Go away to my sisters tomorrow and will spend the weekend getting the brussels ready.</p> <p>Funnily enough, just can't get into the Christmas mood. I honestly wish I was working like every other year. It's the first time I've spent with my family in 7 years. Never been the family person let alone a christmas person. Just got to keep smiling this year. So much has happened and is still going on...kind of waiting for it to end and the chance of a new year. I really really really hope it's a good one. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/23/a_meeting_to_forget~1470163/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/23/a_meeting_to_forget~1470163/Sat, 23 Dec 2006 00:07:54 +0100 <p>So, today still feeling pretty bad. Decided it is time to have my first day off sick. All the bosses are aware of whats happened so are being very good and understanding. Unfortunately, I actually really wanted to go to work today. All the team are meeting up tonight for dinner, drinks and a bit of a boogie as a thank god December is over with. I was not going to be much fun to decided not to go. Really really really pissed off about it but can't be helped.</p> <p>Instead, sat at home in my pajamas, watching....the preachers wife. Now that is a fantastic depressing Christmas film. So, shed a mini tear watching that in between having a massive admin day starting from 9am till 5pm. Just sat under my duvet making call after call, writing email after email. </p> <p>I sit here thinking where was my rest! Just can't switch off today. After working away for a couple of weeks, I get back and realise how behind I am on planning for the future jobs. Think I'm fairly caught up now. Just don't want anything hanging over my head whilst I'm trying to spend Christmas with the family. I'll be sneaking into my sister's office to fire off a ton of emails in the middle of the night!</p> <p>Still feels like my brain exploded and decided to fall out of my ear. Lovely thought I know!!</p> <p>Right, off to get my rest now.... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/21/a_day_off_sick~1465297/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/21/a_day_off_sick~1465297/Thu, 21 Dec 2006 18:22:37 +0100 <p>So, drove down the M25 today to go and watch my niece's nativity play. All the family have been really exicited about her 'debut' so we all lined up with the cameras then the kid decided to get all nervous, had a diva moment...as all actresses do I'm sure....and ran away. </p> <p>I thought this was hilarious. Her mother didn't. I also managed to really piss off my sister as when we were waiting for the performance to begin, all the parents were in this room and I had a bit of a sneezing moment. My sister turned around and asked if I was alright. What with my dodgy ear, didn't realise how loud I was talking when I said 'yeah I'm fine, just allergic to children'.</p> <p>It then took me 3 bloody hours stuck coming back on the M25 for a journey that should have taken 45 minutes. Bloody nightmare trip.</p> <p>Ear still a total mess. Got to go to hospital now to get it checked out. Ultimate fear. The sad part inside me refuses to go alone and have managed to persuade my ma to take me!! Really really freaks me out. When will I ever grow up and do something without my mother.</p> <p>Feeling abit down at the moment. Coming up to time of year I've always hated. This year it just feels worse. Don't know if it's cos I'm not well or other reasons. Gotta snap out of it. Spending Christmas with the kid and got to make it special. </p> <p>Off to sleep now...yawn.....</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/21/the_nativity_play~1462821/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/21/the_nativity_play~1462821/Thu, 21 Dec 2006 00:12:10 +0100 <p>So, just got back from another job. Went really well and am now planning some serious skiving up to Christmas.</p> <p>Last night, had our big opening party. Had all the bosses there. Was a brilliant night. Anyway, had my special mate come and stayed with me last night. Was feeling abit ropey but nothing major. He gave me this amazing Christmas present so felt a bit bad about turning over needing my sleep! Woke up throughout the night with a really bad earache. About 6am, he woke up to ask what the hell was wrong with me. My ear was so bad and all of a sudden decided to explode....with blood. Arghhhhhhhhh! I totally freaked out. Looking back it was hilarious. He rushed me to A&E who discovered it was a perferated (no idea how to spell that! eardrum. Now, I sit at home, feeling rather sorry for myself and in quite a bit of pain. </p> <p>Got a nativity play to go to tomorrow. In a way, quite good timing for deafness! </p> <p>Just looking forward to catching up on some sleep now. Really felt that last job. Must be the knowledge of a fair bit of time off coming up. Can't wait!!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/19/an_exploded_eardrum~1457803/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/19/an_exploded_eardrum~1457803/Tue, 19 Dec 2006 19:56:47 +0100 <p>So, tonight I was looking forward to my special mate joining me whilst I'm working away. Tried contacting him yesterday to find out what time he'd be arriving...no answer. He finally TEXT me this morning to inform me that he wouldn't be coming.</p> <p>The thing is, this isn't the first time. This relationship, if you can call it that, is really starting to grate.</p> <p>We met a long time ago, been great friends for a long time and discovered over the last 18 months there is more there. At the time I was married...as was he. Yes, we did a pretty bad thing. Both our marriages were falling apart and instead of dealing with that, we found comfort and fun in eachother. I eventually left my husband, not for the other man, but for myself. </p> <p>The relationship has continued, with him talking about leaving his wife but not actually doing it. I've never asked him to do that and would never put the pressue on by asking him to leave for me.</p> <p>I do love this guy, but deep down I know he'll never be able to give me what I want or need. But I just can't stop it. When we're together it's so good but he can be a complete jeckell and hyde. One day he'll want to be with me, the next he won't even pick up the phone. It's getting so confusing and frustrating. </p> <p>No-one knows about us and due to difficult cirmcumstances, it really must never come out, even if he did leave her. Makes it hard not being able to talk about it even though my friends would tell me to run...fast!</p> <p>I really need to get this straight in my head. Need some serious thinking about what I want from life. I just miss the typical couple stuff....going to the store together, cooking together, going to the movies. All normal things. </p> <p>All I want to be loved and cared for. I just don't think he's the one to do that. You'd think I'd have learnt from my marriage, but obviously not! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/07/an_affair_to_remember_or_not~1411706/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/07/an_affair_to_remember_or_not~1411706/Thu, 07 Dec 2006 14:25:50 +0100 <p>So, today I'm getting all my things ready to go away for another couple of weeks...you can imagine the size of the suitcase. Got a long old trek ahead of me tomorrow to start work on Friday. It doesn't matter how often I do my job, I still get nervous. What an odd ball.</p> <p>Due to not being back now till the 19th Dec, and having to work right up to christmas day, I've been spending the last few days getting all the cards and presents done. I feel really bad about it as the presents are so rushed and unoriginal. Normally I take my time and get things that I know people would love. This year it's really pants. It also doesn't help that for the last six years I've been able to get some really great gifts but now I'm on my own, the budget just won't stretch. People have been saying not to bother but how can you turn up to the families house on Christmas morning with no gifts in tow. Now that would be pants!</p> <p>Wrote all the cards this morning then realised I have no-ones addresses. That just shows how must email has taken over. The art of letter writing is long dead. So I've had to send out a ton of texts trying to get the addresses. Probably spent more on the texts than I have on the cards themselves! Next year I'm going to send those online cards. Saves on the stamps!</p> <p>As you can probably tell, I'm a total Scrooge. I actually hate Christmas and would rather be in a sunny country on the beach having a BBQ than talk to family members who rarely remember who you are, surrounded by kids eating dried up turkey. </p> <p>Because I'm in a hotel for the next couple of weeks, my family thought it would be really fun to get me a christmas tree to take with me to decorate for my room. It is actually in my car...where it will remain. </p> <p>Ok, off for now....to find my christmas spirit! Jingle bells and all that crap. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/06/off_and_away_again~1408347/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/06/off_and_away_again~1408347/Wed, 06 Dec 2006 15:51:06 +0100 <p>Last night I went to spend some time with an old friend. A mate who is also in the process of getting divorced. Difference is, she's been 'going through the process' for the past 2 years and is still stuck in the same place she was at the beginning. She and her ex have two kids and neither of them seems to see what their actions are doing to them. </p> <p>The pair have argued so much over finances and custody, and now are to the point that both things are about to be taken out of their control. </p> <p>I realised yesterday how sad it really can be. When I have bad days, feeling abit sorry for myself, I really must realise that i have it easy. I walked out of an unhappy marriage with an ex who at least made sure I was going to be okay instead of wasting time and money trying to make eachother as miserable as possible. </p> <p>Luckily for us, we don't have kids but coming from a childhood with parents who very messily divorced, I know what it's like to be on that side. </p> <p>People forget how a divorce doesn't just affect your life, but also the lives of others around you. You might fall out of love, but at least respect eachother enough for your kids happiness. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/03/a_different_kind_of_divorce~1397272/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/03/a_different_kind_of_divorce~1397272/Sun, 03 Dec 2006 17:36:24 +0100 <p>So, been a whole two weeks since I blogged. Been on a big job where I did get rather ill. Infact, did the whole job sneezing and coughing over the entire staff who, in turn, caught it. At least I spread the love.</p> <p>The job went really well. Lots of emails to pat me on the back. How the hell I managed it is still beyond me. The whole thing went so wrong but was easily hidden! I really ought to be in sales...never mind blogging...it's all in the blagging!</p> <p>So, I returned home to find out one of my roommates has turned psyhco and kicked in the door of another roommate. How do I find these people?? All seems a little to quiet in the house so waiting for it all to kick off.</p> <p>Taking a good few days off now to be ready for the next job.</p> <p>Spending tonight doing the family thing...dinner on the lap infront of I'm a celeb. Friday night's just don't get more exciting than this. Then tomorrow I'm off to spend the weekend with a mate. </p> <p>My special mate visited me for a couple of days whilst I was away but thats just got even more complicated. Starting to wonder if it's worth it. We shall see. Maybe I'll get Christmas over with and re-evaluate then.</p> <p>Hate this time of year. Even when I was with someone. Why is it so damn depressing??</p> <p>Anyways, off for tea now. Blog later. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/01/turns_out_i_was_unwell~1390729/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/12/01/turns_out_i_was_unwell~1390729/Fri, 01 Dec 2006 19:52:51 +0100 <p>So, today I am getting ready for another 2 week trip away with work. I went to bed last night and felt rotten. I ended up falling asleep infront of an open window in my lounge, waking up at 4am when I dragged my sorry arse back to bed. </p> <p>Today I still feel awful. </p> <p>The only thing is, I don't think I'm actually ill. I think it's nerves. I go into a rather large job on my own tomorrow with no supervision (what were they thinking) except a director who is looking to take me down. I honestly think that's what is making me feel like this. </p> <p>At least I hope so. Cannot afford to get ill now!</p> <p>I need to learn how to calm down. How to not let things get to me. Who cares if my P45 comes in the post! Arghhhhhhhhh!</p> <p>I feel like crying today which is very unlike me. Feel like doing a runner and starting another new life! </p> <p>I'm sure that in two weeks time once I've got this first one done I'll be ok. That is, of course, if I still have a job.</p> <p>Let's wait and see! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/11/16/feeling_unwell_or_am_i~1336130/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/11/16/feeling_unwell_or_am_i~1336130/Thu, 16 Nov 2006 13:42:16 +0100 <p>So, woke up this morning still feeling really bad about the mean text I sent my special mate. At 9am, I decided enough was enough and sent a rather grovelling text over.</p> <p>All day....nothing.</p> <p>He must be rather pissed not to have replied.</p> <p>Damn.</p> <p>Was kind of hoping to have a visitor tomorrow night whilst I'm working away.</p> <p>Big damn.</p> <p>Ok, so work was good but rather long. Still meant to be working now but taking a break. What a shocking excuse! Off to see the ex-husband tomorrow. Something to look forward to! Can't complain mind as he is helping me out with something for work. Hope he doesn't gloat.</p> <p>Feel so tired and so many more phone calls to make. I hope no-one in my team has a life as I will be interuppting it tonight. I must be hated!!!</p> <p>Oh well....back to prison i guess!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/11/13/silence_is_deadly~1326766/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/11/13/silence_is_deadly~1326766/Mon, 13 Nov 2006 21:16:27 +0100 <p>So, yet again been a naughty blogger and not blogged for a while. This will all be explained! </p> <p>Been working away for the last couple of weeks. Been such a hectic time but quite good fun working with people I adore for once. </p> <p>Came home and decided to take a couple of days for some R & R, but actually ended up working for most of it!! Never been one to switch off!</p> <p>Was meant to spend my first night back with my 'special mate'. Left work really late to coincide with the time we were meeting, then he cancelled an hour before when I was already on the road. Was absolutely furious. I ended up sending a rather nasty text message (I know...coward). I haven't heard from him since and as I can't speak to him at weekends, its been playing on my mind. Think an apology will be needed first thing tomorrow. Keep thinking I'm supposed to give him support and happiness, but instead I acted like everything else in his life....designed to give him shit! Oh well, hopefully he'll be nice about it.</p> <p>So, since the big move, I still haven't sorted out my internet connection on my new laptop. I've been using friends and families computers every day to check my email. Doesn't make for very private blogging. I decided today to get it sorted. Called up my internet provider for my other computers, changed my package and started to install. It didn't work. I called the provider who then told me that I would need to uninstall what I had put on and start again. It still didn't work. And now I have nothing at all. I have spent 72 minutes on the phone to them trying to fix it. It still doesn't work. Yet again, fairly furious. </p> <p>So, have decided to give up for today and try again tomorrow, that is after counting to a million (twice..) </p> <p>Still feeling so tired from such a hard slog at work, and from Friday I'm away again to do it all over. I hope I have internet by then to blog or my patience will totally go from keeping it all inside....starting to feel the need to count to a billion!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/11/12/what_a_couple_of_weeks~1322963/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/11/12/what_a_couple_of_weeks~1322963/Sun, 12 Nov 2006 20:03:58 +0100 <p>So, today I start my first big job. Means 2 weeks straight working away, then take 2 days off then 2 weeks straight, away in another part of the country, then 2 days off etc etc etc.</p> <p>And this takes me to Christmas.</p> <p>Not the easiest job in the world, miss my friends and family so much as most of my 2 days back home is spent desperately sleeping to be bright eyed and raring to go on the next job. </p> <p>Hmmm, not so sure about the working to live...more like living to work!</p> <p>Can't complain though, I love what I do so we take the good along with the bad. Already dreaming of my Christmas day dinner though. </p> <p>Spent my last day of freedom with my family trying to explain why they won't see me much. They still moan a lot about it but I think they see why I do it. </p> <p>I wonder how this job would have affected my relationship had I still been married. Maybe we would have kept going, not seeing eachother meaning not dealing with the problems. Or would it have made it easier to walk. Who knows!</p> <p>I haven't seen the ex for a couple of weeks now. I hear he's not doing so well. People have been calling me...expecting me to be a in a total state and attempting to make me feel guilty when they discover I'm not. </p> <p>I still say this is the best move I ever made in my life. I'm happier now than I have been for the last couple of years and I'm getting on with it. So why can't people just be happy cos I'm happy, instead of giving me the third degree about how my ex is feeling. I don't know and to be honest, it's not my damn problem anymore.</p> <p>I recently confided in my sister about my special mate. She has, in turn, decided to inform my entire family. So now, not only do I get asked how my ex is, I get asked how my 'buddy' is. I'm not saying a word...yet they're not letting it drop. I think they're expecting me to bring him over for a family lunch....ain't gonna happen! Will explain why at a later date when I'm feeling braver to explain the entire nightmare of a situation. I never make it easy for myself!</p> <p>Anyway, I best be off to start my 3 hour trek across England and at least pretend to do some work.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/30/my_social_life_ends_today~1277028/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/30/my_social_life_ends_today~1277028/Mon, 30 Oct 2006 11:31:19 +0100 <p>Well, been a terrible blogger. Haven't blogged for acouple of days due to being away with work. </p> <p>Had the most useless day...had to go into London to do a recruitment event- had about 8 people to hold event..not cheap to get that lot in and feed. So, sat there for about 4 hours with not a soul showing up. Thought it was abit odd, normally get about 30 people. So, started to question the guy who organised it and found out he'd run the ad on the wrong damn day. What a total idiot and a waste of my time. Hmmmmmmmm.</p> <p>So, feeling knackered. Think it's the tube that does it to me. Feel sorry for all you commuters. Not for me...will keep to the M25. </p> <p>Sleep is needed now. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/25/what_a_waste_of_time~1261218/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/25/what_a_waste_of_time~1261218/Wed, 25 Oct 2006 19:33:38 +0200 <p>Another long day. Seem to be having real problems sleeping in. Never had a problem before now but it's just not happening. So, yet again get up at a ridiculous hour and went shopping. Not very productive or interesting I'm afraid.</p> <p>Went home and decided to cook a traditional Sunday curry. Hmmmmm, maybe that's where it all went wrong. The curry itself....delicious but I made the ultimate mistake....impatience. The rice had been boiling away and just as I thought it was ready, I plated up and sat down to enjoy tea and a movie. As I chewed...the rice crunched. Not pleasant. Was so pissed off that I made myself eat it anyway. Thats gonna sit for a good few days on the gut!!</p> <p>I sit here knowing I have to get so much done for work tomorrow and a pile of ironing which I've put off for weeks. </p> <p>Whatever happeneded to our day of rest?? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/22/cooking_issues~1249585/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/22/cooking_issues~1249585/Sun, 22 Oct 2006 17:09:56 +0200 <p>So, today my sister came to see me with her daughter. We spent a really nice day out together and joined our ma for lunch. They started to quiz me about my recently ended marriage. I think they caught me on a bad day as normally not a word would have emerged from my lips. But....today, I said to much.</p> <p>I think they were pretty shocked really but thats that. They asked, I told.</p> <p>They'll get over it.....I have. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/21/big_mouth~1246315/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/21/big_mouth~1246315/Sat, 21 Oct 2006 17:03:55 +0200 <p>Was so tired last night that I ended up passing out at 8pm. How disturbing. Think I'm getting old. Got up at 6am today and had my first bad roomie experience...took 5 days to happen at least!</p> <p>With my job, it's rare I have to get up for work at the normal time of 9-5'ers. Today I did. Realised that the one bathroom that was housing all my stuff had someone else residing in it. Unfortunately, never paid much attention to the grand tour when I moved in and couldn't remember where the other bathroom was...so, rather than open the door to another person's room, I decided to hop about abit trying not to wet myself. The person finally came poked her hand out the door with my toothbrush and said the words 'upstairs on the left'. How polite at 6am.</p> <p>Reminder to self- get up 10 minutes earlier tomorrow to piss said person off.</p> <p>Work was average. Was holding exams again today (of which I will be doing tomorrow). Had a girl who didn't read English very well today so spent most of the exam going through it with her desperately trying not to look pained when she answered them incorrectly. Scary stuff.</p> <p>So, another day passes. Rather dull actually. Nevermind, I'm sure some dramatic event will hit sooner rather than later and I'll be complaining why I'm not normal again!!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/18/a_better_work_day~1235932/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/18/a_better_work_day~1235932/Wed, 18 Oct 2006 18:25:21 +0200 <p>Went to work to do some recruitment. Had a good turn out including some of the gods of the company. They sat at the back of the room and decided to pull everything I did apart....but later explain that they're just trying to find out what happens and what we could do to improve it. I wish I had turned around to them and told them to take the bloody event and let me criticise them! Bloody gods, you can never say what you want without being on the receiving end of a P45 no matter how much bull shit they talk.</p> <p>Anyway, was proper fuming by the end of the night. They made me look a total idiot infront of my managers...really could have lost it.</p> <p>So, finally got out of this rather embarassing night (even though we did get some good people...thank god one thing went right!). Decided to meet up with a 'special' friend.</p> <p>A special friend whose been in my life for a while.</p> <p>Lets just say...big smiles and laughs were had.</p> <p>People will say, should you be doing that, so quickly after moving out of the marital home, but others would say....get what you've missed for so long when you can!!!!</p> <p>Still smiling now....I'm with the latter group! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/17/what_a_wonderful_night~1232062/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/17/what_a_wonderful_night~1232062/Tue, 17 Oct 2006 18:39:38 +0200 <p>So, am in my new home. Well, not right now as I have no net access yet so am actually nicking a pals line. Woke up yesterday morning feeling well and truly terrified. My mate turned up with his van and I tried to have a laugh and a joke as we loaded it while my insides were shaking. </p> <p>Another load of horrible goodbyes then we hit the road, including a faily formal nod to my ex-husband.</p> <p>Luckily I was taking my own car to the new town so I had my music on full blast trying not to think about what was about to happen at the same time as literally telling myself to get on with it...lucky I was on my own or think I would have been sectioned.</p> <p>Got the new house, unloaded and unpacked. Most of the flatmates were out so got to settle alone. It's not quite the 'Friends' style of living I was expecting.</p> <p>Was getting ready for my first night in my new room....when that friend who stood me up the night before made a unexpected appearance. I couldn't have been happier to see him. We had such a fantastic night and made me feel so much more like this was the right thing to do.</p> <p>I went to bed feeling bloody fantastic. I love being back in my old town, in my new home surrounded by fantastic friends. </p> <p>Things are finally going my way......now I just got to get the internet installed! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/15/the_big_move~1224863/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/15/the_big_move~1224863/Sun, 15 Oct 2006 19:41:16 +0200 <p>So today I pack. The big moving date is tomorrow. Spent all morning making sure the boxes are sealed, I haven't missed any of my belongings and sneakely trying to get some of my ex's belongings in without being noticed.</p> <p>Had to say some pretty horrible goodbyes today. My old business and my private life were connected in many ways so had some old faces to bid farewell to. It's been a pretty hard day so fair.</p> <p>Bit pissed off to. Was meant to be meeting up with a pal tonight. Since I'm moving quite far away, I really wanted to spend one last night having a giggle together cos god knows when our diaries will agree a time in the future to meet. But he's been called to a meeting and doesn't think he can make it now. Pants.</p> <p>So, it looks like a final night in the house. Bit of mixed emotions about that. In some ways can't wait to get out of here and in others, scared about moving into a new pad with strangers. </p> <p>I suppose thats why I wanted to see my friend today. One of the only people I'm 100% honest with about how I'm really feeling and know that I'm understood and never judged. I feel like I want to scream...I want tomorrow to come now but let it go well and let me be happy. </p> <p>I think it's all really hitting me now. I really am leaving.</p> <p>Have I made the right decision?? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/13/packing~1217457/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/13/packing~1217457/Fri, 13 Oct 2006 15:14:33 +0200 <p>This morning I was training about 15 people to take an exam. The group listened really well, were interactive and interested in the subject. It came to the point where all the training was complete. I gave them all a break whilst I checked over the exam to make sure I had covered everything. The group returned, the papers were handed out, and the timings checked. </p> <p>As I stood there, watching them all checking no cheating occurred (very serious stuff), I wondered how many of them would pass. Then an awful thought hit me, what if I've messed up big time, and they all failed.</p> <p>I remember when I had to take my exams, first in school, college, then my work. The feeling of nervousness, anxiousness...things that as a trainer, you have to deal with every day. But today, for the first time, I realised my own level of nervousness for them.</p> <p>I don't know what the results will be. But I do know that I will be checking my computer every day in the hope of finding out...just as I know they will be too. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/12/scarier_for_the_tutor~1214730/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/12/scarier_for_the_tutor~1214730/Thu, 12 Oct 2006 19:57:45 +0200 <p>So, recently took on a new job. An incredibly different job to what I've done in my entire working life. It's been a major change involving managing my own diary, night meetings, lots of staying in hotels for long periods of time etc.</p> <p>I left home to start work at 5am today. Got home at 10pm. I look back at my previous couple of months in my new role and see a similar pattern. </p> <p>It's been a pretty stressful time in my life recently, what with the split added on top of the job as well as finding a place to live and I look in the mirror and am starting to see it in my face. You know when you are on the receiving end of "you look knackered" that secretly they're saying..."you look like crap". The bags, the extra lines...I have yet to find any makeup company that manages to hide that much for a 16 hour shift where the only time to reapply it is on the M25 doing 100 miles an hour to make it in time for the next meeting.</p> <p>And why is it...anyone who works at night will understand..that when you arrive home, you have this burst of energy that just will not allow you to fall into bed and pass out...no, you end up actually going to your rest at about 2am!</p> <p>I sit here in the knowledge that it all kicks off again in just a few hours and I have a to-do list that will keep me working into the early hours of tomorrow morning. </p> <p>I've decided to add to that list...call boss..and ask when do I sleep sir???? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/11/when_do_i_sleep_sir~1211489/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/11/when_do_i_sleep_sir~1211489/Wed, 11 Oct 2006 22:51:54 +0200 <p>For the first time in weeks, I have come home from work before 11pm. Can't believe it! It's only 8.30pm and I have no idea what to do this myself! Dinner is in the oven, watching some trash on tv and am even considering an early night. This is amazing.</p> <p>So, to follow on from yesterday's blog...I got up at the obscene time of 5am. Had to wake the ex up at 5.30am and left the house to retrieve my diseased car. Called the AA on the way who I must say, were bloody fantastic..ok, he didn't know what was wrong with it but it seemed to have got over it's little moment last night. Mr. AA, my hero, even followed me for half an hour into my journey to make sure I was ok. Loving the AA today.</p> <p>Did a cross country drive for a few hours and ended up being only an hour late for my meeting. Very impressive without breaking too many laws. </p> <p>Meeting was good. Got a lot of information today and realised how crazy my working life is going to be from now until Christmas. So, gotta take these early nights whilst I can!</p> <p>Drove home and here I am. Was just thinking, I've had 3 new cars in the last year and each one has had to have the AA attend to it in the first month of me owning it. Hmmm, strange. I don't seem to pick well in cars or husbands! No, I shouldn't complain. He could have quite easily told me where to go but didn't. Blimey, I think I just said something nice about my ex. I'm sure that will change tomorrow! </p> <p>So, a fairly uneventful day. First one of them in a while as well actually. It's been sort of nice. </p> <p>Off to eat, watch trash and sleep now. Happy dreams. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/10/the_car_survives~1207530/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://newlife500.blog.co.uk/2006/10/10/the_car_survives~1207530/Tue, 10 Oct 2006 20:34:04 +0200